I teh only Ceiling Cat An u kno it. I pwns u.
Whilst patrolling the interwebs this fine monday morning, I happened upon the most unlikeyist of sites.
Blessinz of teh Ceiling Cat be apwn yu, srsly. This is the lolcat Bible Translation Project, a project dedicated to translating the entire Bible into lolspeak.
At first I thought it was a joke…who would possibly want to spend that much time on a project that…well seemed to be pointless. So I kept reading…
The Project started in July of 2007 and so far we have 61% of the Bible translated!
O_O 61% has already been translated?1?!1!!1one?!
I am not exactly proficient in lolspeak…I enjoy lolcats…loldogs…lolcelebs (see where I’m going with this?), and for me, merely re-writing the bible into more of an everyday language would be a challenge. To convert the entire thing into lolspeak though is an undertaking worth its weight in hosts!
Join me as I take you through some of my favorites, and be sure to let me know if you find anything better…or perhaps write your own!
Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem. – Genesis 1
Put water in betweens for mi pet crocodiles Den yew hang more stuff. Ceiling Cat is hard to pleaz Den add oil! Ceiling Cat loves teh oilz Did I menshion I haz a holocaust alter? Oilz make shit holy, put sum on teh altars feet kthanx. – Exodus 40
Ceiling cat mad a peepz, lay smack on peepz. – Psalm 69
Den Sam Jackson said: Teh walkies of the Ceiling Cat beliefer iz fightins an stuff by lotza unfair gredy aholes an George Boosh. Mani cheeborgrz 2 teh beliefer cat cuz of bein nice n stuff 2 helpin kitties thru teh scary plaice. He gud beliefer cat and finden losted kitties an such. Ceiling cat gonna pwn demz who fuk wit my budz. U kno mai name iz Ceiling Cat whe I’z scartchin yo ize out n such. (dere be sum despurting bout dis line, but dis as gud as any Ceiling Cat seeds, so et stayin) – Ezekiel 25
This is my fave – Epic WIN
Now, teh burth of teh Christ was liek dis: After Marry and Joseph waz all “We’s gonna get marrieded, kthnx”, but before dey could had hankiez pankiez Mary was all preggarz from Teh Ceiling Cat. Joseph was liek “I has virjn – NOOOO dey be stealin my virjn! Must hied hur”. But when he was tihnkin, zomg, a BirdCat frm Ceiling Cat was liek, “Oh hai! Iz in ur dreemz, givin u messij. Don be scairdy cat. Taek Mary as ur wife – is virjn. But teh Forse is strong in tihs wun, lol! HovrCat is on hur, givn hur feetus, srsly.” So Joseph was liek ” Oh yey. Iz gonna luv him and squeez him and call him George.” But BirdCat was liek “No, you gonna call him bahbeh Jebus, cso George bad name, srsly. cuz he save kittehs frum bein bad kittehs. Kthxbai.” So all dis was all did cuz Ceiling Cat had sed it wud be. Him proffit was all liek: “Hay guise, luk! teh virjn is all preggers, and dey gonna call him A-manual”, dat be joospeek for “Ceiling Cat wit us” Then Joseph walked up, dun wat teh BirdCat frm Ceiling Cat tolded him too, and was all liek “U wit me now lol” at Mary. And dey didnt has Hankiez Pankiez til affer dey gets a son and calleded him Jebus Christ. Kthnx. – Matthew 1